Sometimes your closest friends make the worst friends. I suppose there's something about the nature of closeness that opens the door for hurt feelings and bruised egos. I am the WORST at this. I'm not sure if it's my sense of humor (frequently self-deprecating), my sensitivity level (high), or my tendency to take everything way too personally, but I usually find that the most hurtful things are said by friends. All of the above personality traits also partner with an inability to let things go, so I tend to pick at these memories like a scab (ew). I'm starting to wonder, however, if my desire to remain friends with everyone I've ever met is counterproductive. While blog surfing recently, I read someone very wise, who said that five years ago she stopped holding onto friends she'd been keeping just so she'd have more people at her wedding (You said it better, and when I remember who you were I'll link you). This concept rocked my world a little bit, and I've been rolling it around in my head for several weeks. I really have a hard time imagining "breaking up" with destructive friends. Avoidance is my M.O., and I am very effective at disappearing off the face of the earth when I don't want to deal with something. I'm also great at sweeping things under the proverbial rug, festering inside while smiling at someone and giving them a cookie. Or a glass of wine. Whatever. You know what I mean.
So I'm sending out this question to the universe (or at least to you): When the line is crossed, when all that is keeping a friendship together is shared history, do you walk away?
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2 comments:
you still have many friends that love you so much.
I guess it depends on the line and the history. My dad once told me that there are people I'll be friends with all my life, and that I need to learn to accept that friendships ebb and flow over time. Take the long view, basically, he said. And I've had to take breaks from friendships, even given that advice.
That said, however, it depends on the line. Only you know when you've had more than you can take, and just because you have a shared history doesn't mean you have to grin and bear it when a person walks all over you, or makes you feel bad about yourself.
Nice and clear answer, huh? *rolls eyes*
And making a little jig over here a bit, I just want to say that even though we have a shared history, I don't try to stay in touch so you'll come to a wedding someday. I love and appreciate you, and you should know that.
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