Practice time

After taking the summer off from serious practice, I'm in the throes of "remembering how to play the flute." It's insanely frustrating to start playing again after a significant break, knowing how you're SUPPOSED to sound and being completely incapable of recreating what is normal. At the risk of making an inappropriate comparison, I think it's like a mild version of learning how to walk again after a catastrophic accident. Most of you probably think I'm nuts to say that. I simply mean that, for those of us who play for many hours a day, our body is completely tied to our musicianship. And our musicianship is at the very core of who we are, to our sense of value. Is this a healthy mindset? Not at all, but it is a basic reality of being any kind of "artist."

Despite that rather depressing description of my recent practice time, I am writing from a place of inspiration and motivation. The Ballet, where I work, has given me a practice space! I think that this is primarily due to the fact that I was coming in early and practicing in my office and very possibly irritating the living hell out of everyone. Regardless of their reasoning, they have given me the most awesome practice space of my life. I have a key to the archive room, meaning that I'm practicing in a room in the attic full of dusty boxes. The upside is that there are windows on both sides of this room. Windows that look down into the rehearsal studios.

Today, while practicing my scales, I stood to the side of one window, studying the reflections of the dancers in their full-wall mirror. These are seriously some of the finest ballet dancers in the world. These people have been studying their craft as long as I've been studying mine. Granted, many of them have reached the highest levels of artistry, while I am only beginning to understand who I am in my discipline. I feel honored to be able to "spy" on them. Watching their joy of rehearsing and the discipline they exhibit day after day keeps me walking up to the attic, plugging away to recover what I've been neglecting.