Something has been happening in my life recently that I have stalwartly refused to believe. Like an ostrich with my head in the sand, I have denied that someone I have trusted and cared about could be so careless with me. I think I might be done with my unwillingness to think ill of this situation. I think I'm at the point of giving up. Except that I still have this speck of hope that I'm wrong, that there's some grand excuse and that everything will be okay.
This is the downside of my open-heartedness. I possess an amazing propensity for trusting (and liking) people too much. It is a double-edged sword, as it has allowed me to befriend some thoroughly amazing people who might not outwardly seem to be a natural part of my social circle. I've had some amazing experiences because of my somewhat childlike character, and I feel like it is a part of my personality that will never be extinguished. That being said, however, today I wish I were more worldy-wise, that I had the "I'm about to be hurt" radar that most people my age seem to have developed. I wish that I could become so enraged that I would feel righteously angry, rather than slightly damaged.
I will bounce back from this, and it will happen quickly. I just don't know how to resolve anything in the interim. I just don't feel like I have thick enough skin for this.
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