In less than 24 hours, I will be living alone. Sis is leaving for Portsmouth at 4:45 pm today. I am trying desperately not to think about it, choosing instead to worry incessantly about things that don't matter. We've lived together for nearly a year, and I rely upon her presence at the beginnings and endings of my days. I love sitting together over our morning coffee, which we learned to fix together. I love watching the cats try to decide between her rice milk and my genuine dairy in the bottoms of our cereal bowls. I love being guaranteed that someone will get all of my jokes, and laugh at everything stupid I do, without judgement.
Realistically, I know that this is good for both of us. We tend to feed off of one another, comfortable in the relative isolation of our tiny apartment. An apartment which, in a few short hours, will feel cavernous. I am proud of her for taking such a brave step, moving to another country. I am inspired by this bold move, this leap of faith that she is choosing to make. I am just terrified of the void she will leave in my life.
I foresee many large phonebills in my future. I predict that I will be crying in my bathtub tomorrow at this time. The silence of my apartment will be deafening for a few weeks. And then life will simply adjust to feeling normal again, and we will learn to adapt.
To my best friend, safe travels. You are who I want to be when I grow up. I am so proud of you, and I will miss you with every bone in my body. And you better freaking come back and visit me!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i miss you! it finally hit me on the plane that i was actually leaving...i'm just glad they had given us those eye patches for sleeping so people couldn't see me crying and mascara going everywhere!
Post a Comment