Letting go of people has always been a problem for me. Sure, I don't call my friends as often as I should, but I keep them forever. I'm an avid collector of photographs and a frequent Googler. Whenever I drink too much, I pore over my photo album, smiling at your faces over the years. The same people make appearances throughout the albums. The Blog is just one more way to keep my friends close to me.
But today I watched a relationship die. I kept staring at it like a bad car wreck on the highway, unable to peel my eyes away. I was hoping against hope that I'd look closer and see that it was an optical illusion. Even now, sitting here, I'm fighting with myself. Do I extract this person from my life? And if I do, will it be like amputating a limb? Will I forever feel the loss, like an unreachable itch?
In my head, I know what I will ultimately do. Intellectually, I know that my life will be better without this constant drama. I know that I won't die of the ache that will invariably follow. I know that part of being an adult for me means letting go of the extra negative baggage I tend to lug around for years.
In the end, there isn't really a downside to this. It's just one more way in which this year is forcing me out of my comfort zone and into the shape of the person I want to become.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment