1. So today one of my bosses (the one I DO NOT LIKE) made me spend an hour counting 37-cent stamps, and then went out and bought a corresponding number of 2-cent stamps. Thank GOD I have a masters degree.
2. So today one of my coworkers walked into my office with five mini-boxes of chocolates, a roll of ribbon, and a handfull of tissue paper, and told me he needed me to wrap the chocolates for several donors. Thank GOD I have a masters degree.
3. So today I found out that the $500 bonus I was supposed to receive from the Ballet as a "thank you" for giving up three weeks of my life to Gala was actually only $287.75 in my bank account because of taxes. Thank GOD my ass is large enough to provide sustenance for an army. That's all I have to say.
4. So today I rocked an interview for a job that would pay me a living wage and allow me creative autonomy over my life. I am perfect for this job. And I think they know that. And I am terrified of the possibility that it presents. So terrified that I have cried three times today. Thank GOD for wine.
5. So today I have no idea what life is about. I managed to change the cat litter and clean my apartment for the first time in a few weeks, sure. But I feel more clueless than ever.
Why is it that unexpected, and seemingly undeserved, opportunity brings with it such anguish? Why? And why, after three glasses of mediocre red wine, am I listening to Damien Rice's 9 Crimes on repeat? Can we say "bad idea?" Um, hi.
UGH.
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2 comments:
"It's not our darkness that we fear, but our light, yo." (Nelson Mandela said that I think... except the "yo" part. I added that.)
just saying that sometimes we fear our own happiness, and will unconsciously push it away. I'm not sure why exactly. Maybe we're afraid that finding a simple solution to being uncompromisingly happy will nullify all of the suffering that we put ourselves through. "If awesomeness was always this easy, what was I waiting for?"
Perhaps as humans we are always slightly afraid of commitment (or maybe that's just dudes), even to the extent of being afraid of committing to something we have a pretty good feeling would be really really good for us.
in any case I hope it works out for the best, whichever option that is... and I hope you are able to find some peace with the situation...
we may have to work on your pop music tastes, though..
you should've calculated the time spent counting stamps and then compared that to your wage. Your boss could be costing your company money.
anyway, I don't have your email address babe, and I want it.
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