Monday, April 09, 2007

Boys drool

Two weeks ago, Mushroom Man stood me up. I should elaborate, I suppose, by saying that, on Saturday, we made plans for Thursday. When I called on Thursday to find out what time he'd like to come over for dinner, he called me back to say that "something came up." He then suggested that perhaps we get together the following Sunday or Monday, and promised he'd call back the next day (Friday) to make plans.

He has never called.

Now, normally I'd just cut my losses and move on. There are two problems, however, that leave me wondering at my next course of action.

1. He is my friend (and has been, for almost two years), and his place of work is one of my favorite places on Earth. So I can't/won't stop going by just to avoid him.
2. We dated/whatevered for over four months.

I realize that there's nothing I can do to change his behavior. And I really have no desire to pursue dating him after this debacle. Yes, there was more drama involved than I'm divulging, but really... you don't need to know all the idiot-girl moments of "Why isn't he calling me?," or "What does it all mean???" And, though many people don't believe me, I have no intention of "trying to teach him a lesson." The reality is that if he's insensitive and careless enough to do this, he won't give a rat's ass what I think of him or his behavior. And expressing my aggravation will only stress me out. I'm all about keeping myself comfortable at the moment. In light of all this, I think I've earned that little bit of selfishness.

The question remains, however: What do I do? I'm annoyed that he is proving to be such an infant. Really, just saying to me, "Abs, I'm not really feeling it, thanks but no thanks," would have been sufficient. And I've basically asked him several times if that's how he's feeling. I'm frustrated that his actions (or lack thereof) are now creating a situation that requires resolving, when plain honesty would have alleviated any need for that. And I'm embarrassed, because now I feel like a jackass for spending four months on someone who clearly didn't give a shit about me.

(Is it possible that this is the cause of the recent crankiness? Hmmmmmm... Jury says yes.)

So, blogosphere, how do you handle this? Or, more accurately, how do I handle this?

In other news, I have a date with someone new and nice tomorrow, so I'm not giving up hope. Just irritated.


Maliavale said...

How about a firm e-mail saying you at least deserved some sort of an explanation?

I want to hear about this new boy! E-mail me. We need to coordinate coffee/baby gift/interstate canal shipping options!

Jurgen Nation said...

Does he read this?

I'm going to proceed as though he does not.

My way is immature and you probably don't want to listen to me. Fair warning. That being said, it has never failed once to have the desired effect.

You don't have to stop doing any of those things. Just be...elsewhere. He no wanty to talky? All right, fine. Whatev. Of course it's MORE than that, but the thing is, remember what choice he made. Be places - where he is, where he isn't, you don't plan these things, they just happen. You still talk to him, look at him, you're just...detached. Still kind, very nice, just distracted and detached. Not there, as you once were. He doesn't have you anymore, if that makes sense. In my experience the second they know you are so not affected by them, they go gaga. They expect you to! The first time you see him he's going to be waiting for the weirdness, the emotion, whatever. Don't give him that. You're done like dinner, detached. "Hi how ARE you?" Talk for a few and then be the one - ALWAYS BE THE ONE - to nicely say, "It was good talking to you, but I have to run. I've got a...thing. Talk soon!" He'll realize with a pang that he doesn't captivate you anymore and you are so not pining for him.

Blah blah blah. It has never once failed. The bonus is that once you're done with the games and making him go crazy, you don't want him anymore. Bonus.

But seriously, you may not want to listen to me. It's not the most mature.

abbersnail said...

Hey beautiful gals! Thanks for the comments! I'm still not sure what to do, but I feel like both of you are exactly right. (Oh, and Stacy: maturity isn't required here. I'm all about being sassy at the moment!)


Maliavale said...

Jesus. Stacy's comment works for me, too. Why couldn't I have done that five months ago, or still now?